Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

Turning the big 2-5 in less than a month has made me become neurotic about the future.   I am constantly battling with the idea of marriage, children, and being single.

My friends from home are all married and two are pregnant, friends from school are all settling into jobs and relationships, and as for me, well I am just starting a new job and trying to save money and have a little fun on the side. Seeing how everyone is doing and what they are doing, I start to feel like I am in a canoe with only one paddle – not getting anywhere.

I have attended four weddings and two baby showers this year and it just drives me crazy thinking that I am not even close to do either of those monumental things.  I mean, I can of course just go out one night and get absolutly wasted, have random sex, get prego, and be a single mom . . . but that's just too easy.  I would prefer to find a man ... marry .... then baby.  Is this asking too much?  I try not to think about it, but it seems that every month I hear about another engagement or another preganancy.  When will it stop?  Am I behind?

I believe it is never good to settle, but is that what people do?  Do people just give up and be with a person they can tolerate and trust and forgoe the whole happily-ever-after-you-complete-me kind of love?

God. I hope not.